That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
