David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
