I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
