im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
