so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
