that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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