This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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