Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
