Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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