You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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