Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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