I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
