Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
