we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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