you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
