she was so not down for the gang bang
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
now i know why i became what i already was.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
