I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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