normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
It's rum buckets o'clock
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
