theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
