i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
