i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
