that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
