Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
