Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
