shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
