respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
