There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
