whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
