ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
