I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
