UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize