Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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