Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
