You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
