Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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