Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
