The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
