Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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