in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
