she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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