Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
