K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
