physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
