Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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