You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
so let's talk penis.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
