Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
How's work?
Spinning.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
