I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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