You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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