I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
