ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
