ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
